Book Review: Becoming Cliterate – Why Orgasm Equality Matters And How to Get It by Laurie Mintz
I love reading non-fiction books that teach me something. I generally read three books at once, usually I’ve got a fantasy book, a non-fiction book and a random genre book going at the same time.
Recently, I listened to the audiobook of Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari which was great. But then I read Becoming Cliterate by Laurie Mintz and WHOAH. It was brilliant. Super interesting and illuminating. I recommended it to all my female friends who love reading, and here I am recommending it to you!
This book details our culture’s flawed way of thinking about sex, especially when it comes to women’s orgasms. We’ve been conditioned by porn, movies, books, mainstream media etc to believe that the only way for a woman to orgasm with a male partner is through penetration alone and lots of thrusting of his penis. This is the most reliable way for a man to orgasm, after all. But it’s been proven that only a small minority of women orgasm this way! So why does society continue to perpetuate this myth? And herein lies the issue and why the orgasm gap is so large.
The most reliable way for women to orgasm is through stimulation of their clitoris. (Any men reading this review, please re-read that last sentence!) Yes, penetration feels great, and often penetration plus clitoral stimulation feels really great, but penetration alone is not likely to lead to a female orgasm. Many women fake it because we’ve been made to feel like we’re odd/broken in some way because we don’t orgasm through penetration. WE’RE NOT. It’s totally normal.
This book highlights the myths and misunderstandings that have shaped our thinking about sex today and then educates and makes suggestions as to how we can change this outdated and incorrect view.
One of the facts that blew my mind was that we call the whole of the female genitals a vagina. This is scientifically incorrect. The outside bits are called a vulva. The inside bits are the vagina. The author makes some interesting points about why this matters, especially because the vulva includes the clitoris. I shall never use the wrong word again.
I also loved learning that the clitoris has no other function than pleasure. That’s right, it’s purely there for a woman’s entertainment and orgasm!
The author also argues that clitoral stimulation (when a woman is more likely to orgasm) is often lumped in ‘foreplay’ and that penetration (when a man is more likely to orgasm) is considered the main event of heterosexual intercourse. This definition needs to change. For a woman, what is called ‘foreplay’ is the main event, it’s not the warm up or the least important part.
This book also tackles one-night stands (why men generally orgasm and women rarely do on a hook up and how to change that), masturbation (with some practical, hands-on advice…), how to communicate about sex to tell partners what you like, sex education and more.
Becoming Cliterate is not just for women, it’s also for men and there’s a dedicated section. This enlightening book is a must-read for those who think it’s time we change our perspective on sex because orgasm equality does matter. Men are having at least three times more orgasms than women – it’s time we caught up ladies!
My rating: 5/5
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>>My debut novel, a grimdark epic fantasy called MELOKAI, is out now! Available from Amazon, Kobo, iBooks, Google Play Books, Barnes & Noble and Smashwords. Read more about my books here.<<
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